This rant is cross between a rant and an open letter to cast and producers of Finding Bigfoot.
When this show first aired I had such high hopes for it. But, about halfway through the fist episode I new it was going to total shit. It wasn’t because Matt and Bobo are constantly convinced that almost everything they don’t understand is evidence of a Bigfoot. It’s not because Ranae is just about the only one ever to say anything remotely logical or that Cliff Barackman, well, I really don’t even know what purpose he serves other than he claims to be a biologist. I am sure he has an important role on the show. All I am saying is that after watching several episodes they all do the same things. Matt and Bobo’s conclusion is always completely ridiculous and laughable. “It was a squatch!” Ranae and Cliff, “We don’t have enough information to say one way or the other.”
What makes the show so ridiculous is it’s complete idiocy in planning and it’s absolutely unscientific and completely illogical plan to ever find a Bigfoot. There’s also kind of a third reason. It’s a small reason I will admit but every time I see this show or anyone of the other shows that are out to “Investigate” some creature. It’s as if they have completely lost their mind. Let’s take every episode of Finding Bigfoot. I want you for a minute to put yourselves in the shoes of these people out there looking for Bigfoot. It’s at night and they are looking for creature that on average stands between 7 and 10 feet tall. It is known to kill animals for food. It’s known to to terrorize a great many campers. It has thrown rocks at them. Pounded on and shook vehicles. It is a violent creature. Now you absolutely believe this creature exists. And, yet here you are, in the middle of the night, completely unarmed! No mention of any weapons or even some damn bear spray. And, your ignorant ass is out there looking for and calling to what could very well be the most dangerous animal known to mankind at this very time. Only a complete idiot would do that.
So, I have to mention that little third problem with the show and then ignore it because there’s no getting past it and thus would endeth my rant because it proves beyond a shadow of a doubt that either none of them believe in Bigfoot or they are all out of their damn minds. So, we have to just kind acknowledge it and then just try to move on from there and see how the show could go from completely lame to interesting, fascinating and even educational.
Problem number one is their idiot plan to catch a Bigfoot. As of right now they have traveled the world spending a few days in each place hoping that a creature who has apparently kept it’s existence hidden from most of the world for thousands and thousands of years is just going to pop out and fucking say hello just because of a few fake calls and a some slapping of sticks against a tree. They are ignoring the evidence. The real evidence. This would have to be a creature of almost human levels of intelligence. It’s obviously not just some ape roaming the woods looking for food.
A skeleton has never been found. A body has never been found. What does that tell you? It’s buries it’s dead or does something with it. So, instead of looking at all those broken over trees that seem to make no sense? How about grabbing shovel, it’s probably a grave marker. Any culture advanced enough to bury its dead is probably going to leave behind some kind of marker or remembrance.
You are probably going to never find a Bigfoot jumping from place to place. This is your biggest flaw in logic. If it’s smart enough to know to not be seen, it is certain smart enough to stay hidden for a few days while you’re out making all those stupid screams and hitting sticks against trees. Great way to let it know you’re coming though.
What you need to do is pick an area in the Pacific Northwest right in the middle of where the most sitings are. Set up a camp and plan to be there for several months. Set up a perimeter of motion sensor activated cameras every few hundred yards or so. Do this in multiple directions. Then set up up a few video cameras in various directions high enough in the trees that they won’t be in the eye line of the Bigfoot. Then go camping and set up a few more cameras of different kinds all around you and on you. Set up two or three different camp sites but keep them at least a mile apart so the sound you around aren’t from the other camp sites. Then have a normal camping trip. Make noise, have a fire. Sleep in your tents. All your bases are covered. If somethings out there and doesn’t want you there, than you are going to get some footage of it throwing rocks at your tent and snooping around as witness have claimed it does.
Now on to problem number two. It’s nice that you have the town meetings so you can hear all the probable nutjobs talk about their encounters. But, this is stupid. You don’t announce to an entire town that you’re going to be out there running around the woods looking for monsters. Hell, if I heard you were coming to my town to look and I was bored out of mind I would absolutely pick that for the time I would want to do some hiking and camping in the local mountains. And, I would be sneaking around making all kinds of squatchy sounds in the night just to mess with you. And, you have got to know that happens a lot to you. I am guessing most of those sounds are just sounds from the locals making sure you have a real good time out there.
So, in the future, don’t let people know you’re going to be out in the woods looking for signs. That’s like posting on Facebook that you and the whole family will be out of a town for a few days and then being surprised when you arrive home to discover that you have been robbed blind!
If you ever want to be respected or save any self respect you think that you still have left. Listen more to Renae and Cliff. Let them do the planning. They are the only ones with any kind of actual training in research and scientific method. Your so called “knowledge” of Bigfoot is not helping. The best way to find real evidence is to do your best to prove that what you’re looking at is not sign of a Bigfoot.
You could actually spend the whole season in the Pacific Northwest. The show would be amazing. Every season you could actually spend in actual Bigfoot hotspots. The best part is that few people will even know you were their until the show aired. Every other season or so take a break and spend some time in Florida and chase the Skunk Ape. Spend a season in the Himalayans’ looking for the Yeti. But, for the love of god, stop what you’re doing now. You’re embarrassing yourselves. Seriously. You could make this a great show, you just have to stop coming at it like a 15 searching the world for his first real life look at a boobies.
Or, better yet. Pay Survivorman to go out into the Pacific Northwest. If any could find Bigfoot, it would be him. From what I hear, he’s no joke. I wouldn’t be surprised if he comes back with one and video of them sitting around the fire telling stories.