Stupid Oklahoma Cop Pulls Over An Ambulance…

Written by admin on June 1st, 2009
Bad Cop

Bad Cop

Let me say a few things upfront before I go off on rant about the two fucking idiot cops in Oklahoma who pulled over an ambulance.  First of all, I used to be in law enforcement.  It’s been more than a decade since my involvement so I understand that laws change.  Second, I understand that I do not know the whole the story.  I only know what I have read and seen on CNN.  Third, I almost never bash cops.  I know that they have a difficult job.  I understand excessive force claims.  I personally think, cops need to kick more ass on the job.  I think they need to give some dumb asses a good beating from time to time.  So for me to come out and say outright that these two cops are fucking morons, well, I think it’s a first for me.  I just can’t help it.  These fucking tards should be fired for being stupid on the job.

If you have not heard about this case, here it is in a nutshell.  A cop is on his way to a call with his lights and sirens.  The ambulance has someone in the back and is transporting them to the hospital.  The ambulance does not pull over as the cop passes.  Another cop approaches from behind and pulls over the ambulance and starts screaming at the driver that he’s getting a ticket for Failure to Yield.  The cop is told they are on official duty.  The cops continue to harass the ambulance drivers.  At one point one of the paramedics or drivers of the ambulance is put in to a choke hold after being told he was under arrest.  The man did resist.  Eventually the cops let the ambulance go, no one was arrested.

Rant begin!  What kinda fucking moron pulls over an ambulance?  That right there shows signs of fucking stupidity.  But, I can accept it.  The ambulance didn’t yield.  Ok, so I accept the ambulance getting pulled over.  What should happen next?  Any fucking good cop would call in the stop, have the plate ran and upon getting the vehicle information approach the vehicle and ask the driver for license and vehicle registration.  He would then ask if the driver had any lawful reason for his failure to real.  At this point the ambulance driver would say, “Yes, I am an ambulance driver with a patient in the back and am transporting them to the hospital.”

The cop should say, “Ok, sir, just be careful, in the future you need to pull over and yield the right of way.  Not doing so can cause accidents.  Take care sir and drive safe.  Here’s your license and registration.”

Problem solved.  No conflict, just a case of an anal cop doing his job.  Totally acceptable behavior.  But no, these two jackass cops didn’t do it that way.  Instead they continued to escalate the situation with stupid questions and stupid behavior.  Again, I hope these cops are fired.  I hate to say it but no matter how much I investigate this, I just can’t see justification for pulling over the ambulance in the first place.  It was stupid.  There is no fucking excuse for their moronic behavior.

I have heard that someone in the ambulance flipped off the cops after cutting them off.  So the fuck what?!  There is no law against flipping off a cop.  It is not a crime and not a even justification to pull someone over.  Any sane cop would say, “What the fuck is that guys problem” and let it go without stopping the ambulance.  Why?  Because it’s a fucking ambulance, chances are the fucking guy has got places to be and it’s quite fucking possible that even though he doesn’t have his lights and sirens on that he still maybe in a hurry to get to a hospital.

You see a lot of people don’t know this and maybe the law has changed over the years.  It’s Oklahoma, for all I know they have some backwards ass redneck laws, I have no idea.  But, there are rules about when you can have lights and sirens on.  And not one of them actually allows you to break that many laws.  You legally have to stop at all red lights.  You legally can’t speed.  But, some of these can be “overlooked” by cops because they are, by law, allowed some discretion.  Sometimes cops get calls that are important, they probably should be rolling with lights and sirens on but cannot because the poor bastard they are going to help isn’t worth the lawsuit the city would face if the cop was in an accident on the way while rolling code 3 to the call.  Code 3 kinda means life or death.  But, how many calls are not really life and death but are worth getting there in a hurry?  A lot.

A good cop knows that firemen and ambulance drivers have the same limitations.  Sometimes they too need to get somewhere in a hurry but just can’t quite justify rolling code 3.  But, they do what they can, they speed a little, the stop at red lights and if it’s clear they might even run them after stopping first.  Any good fucking cop would never pull over a fucking ambulance because he failed to yield.

As I said, I can understand a very anal retentive cop making the stop.  But, the fact that this went on for as long as it did. I have yet to see any justification for it.  Some people have said, “Well, when the cop told the guy he was under arrest, he shouldn’t have resisted then.”  That’s almost a good point.  But not quite.

You see, a cop is responsible for all his actions. Things must escalate in a certain order.  The cop was already an idiot for stopping this guy.  He was already the worst cop ever when pulling these guys out of the car after being told they had a patient in the back.  These ambulance drivers were at best guilty of a driving infraction while doing their job.  A little bit of discretion should have been shown by these two fucking idiot cops.  It should have never escalated to the point of an arrest.

This is all on the cops for not doing their jobs with even slightest bit of fucking common sense.  And to further prove my point that I am right  After telling the guy that he was under arrest and laying hands on him, they then turned around and didn’t arrest him.  Something you just don’t do. Once an arrest happens, it’s done, it’s over.  You don’t just turn around and go, “Ooops!  My bad!” and let the guy go. If you do that, you’re an idiot.  That means you didn’t do your job properly in the first place by getting all the facts straight before you acted.  Or, it means you acted out of anger or rage, this also makes them poor cops.

To read more about it, click here.

Watch the video:

Creepy books, almost hit by lightning and seeing ghosts…

Written by admin on May 26th, 2009

Lightning

Lightning

Once a year I drive from my home in Southern California to Southern Florida to spend time with my boss and then hit the adult convention in Miami.  I love the drive, I look forward to it more than my birthday, Christmas and Halloween.  If only I could get paid to drive back and forth I’d be a happy guy.

Many people I have talked to have said that they can’t understand how I do it.  For me, it’s pure pleasure.  I have a nice car.  By nice car I don’t mean it’s expensive and European, it’s a Nissan Altima and I just love it.  I’m a big guy and it has plenty of room, it goes fast, it’s really comfortable and since I have discovered books on CD or rather, audible.com it’s just the best time I can have with my clothes on, it’s even more fun than playing Call of Duty.

I normally leave between 2 or 3pm.  I am not a morning person.  I will drive for about an hour while listening to music and then find a good drive thru, normally McDonald’s.  I get my food and start a new book.  I prefer something creepy.  Anything by Dean Koontz or Stephen King.  But, anything I think sounds creepy will do.  I wait for at least an hour because normally it takes a while to get in to the books and by the time they start getting good and creepy, it’s hopefully now night time.  By the time it starts to get dark I am normally on the back half of Arizona along Interstate 10.  Once you hit the back side of Arizona it’s pretty much nothing but wasteland until about midway through Texas.  There’s some little cities here and there but it’s mainly a vast nothing for miles and miles at a time and what could be more perfect than being all alone on a dark road, listening to stories about ghosts, zombie rampages or insane killers on the loose.  It adds to the story in ways you just can’t imagine unless you’ve been there and done that.

I can get through several books on a trip.  But, it does depend on the book.  Some books can be 5 to 7 hours in length and others can be 25 hours or more.  You have to plan them correctly.  I like to start with shorter books first.  You see, I will drive until the next afternoon.  So from 2 or 3pm until at least noon the next day I am driving non-stop only stopping for food and gas.  So, I start with a short book, 5 to 7 hours.   Then I either go with a long book, 15 hours or more.  I do this because by the time I finish the first book, I tend to go through my first phase of being tired.  It’s right around this time that I start a new book.  Just the act of starting a new book wakes me up and keeps me awake as my brain has to work to keep up with what’s going on.  When you’re getting tired and listening to a book that you’re already in to, it’s too easy to drift off for me.  You know the characters and the sometimes endless descriptions of this and that get boring.  Your mind drifts and then you’re nodding off.

When I drive out to Florida it’s normally just around the start of hurricane season.  I don’t know for sure, I’m a California guy.  But, I think it starts sometime around August as they always tend to have one or are waiting on one to hit around the time I am there.  By the time I leave Florida a few weeks later there is no doubt going to be rain and storms somewhere between Southern Florida and Texas.  It never fails.

Now, when I leave Florida, I am normally leaving mid morning, sometime between 9 and 11am.  I will still do the same thing and drive all night finally getting a room somewhere in western part of Texas.  This year I had plans though.  I was gonna stop at Dealey Plaza in Texas and visit the JFK museum there.  As I was driving along Interstate 10 and approaching Louisiana I notice some beautiful lightning strikes way off in the distance.  The most amazing shades of purple, blue, pink and white.  It was like something you’d see in a movie by Spielberg.  That hyper-real kinda look.  After an hour or so it was starting to drizzle.  The Lightning was still way off in the distance but it was getting closer and I was obviously heading right for it.  Fun, I thought.

By the time I left Louisiana in to Texas it was now pouring rain.  Shortly after that it was coming down so hard, what little traffic there was on the interstate was slowing to a crawl.  You couldn’t see that far ahead between the glare of headlights and brake lights, everything was just this bright electric blur.  You could however, see to the left or right.  You couldn’t see much but occasionally there would be a lightning strike to your left or right and your head would naturally turn to see it.  The whole area would turn to day for a split second.  It was amazing.  Some of those strikes were so close I could hear the thunder over my creepy audio book that was playing.   One of them I swear couldn’t have been more than 100 feet away.  It was so close it made me jump.

I am starting to run low on gas but I am hoping to make it out of this storm before I stop for gas.  I have about a quarter tank left, that’s at best a hundred miles in my car.  I start looking for road signs trying to get a feel for where I am.  You have to watch your gas because you can be driving along in passing cities every few minutes and then all of a sudden there’s nothing for 75 miles or more.  I decided to not chance it and pulled over at the first Shell station I saw.

The rain is still coming down in bucketfuls.  I am the only one stopped at the station and I see someone inside mopping the floor with a small sign on the door.  I am guessing it’s closed while he cleans up.  Normally I would have been able to read it, it wasn’t that far away but it was raining so hard it just blurred everything after a certain distance.  I start to fill up the car and am thinking some hot coffee would cool right about now.  I have an ice chest I had filled up at the last stop with the usual 5 hour energy drinks and Red Bull.  But, coffee right now would hit the spot!  I made the decision that after the car fills up I will go and see if he will let me in.

The trigger on the gas pump handle snaps shut and I top it off.  Sure I know you’re not supposed to top off because it causes spillage sometimes.  But, I am not a complete idiot, I have never “spilled” while topping off.  I put the handle back in its place after successfully not spilling.  I think I actually smiled for a second at not spilling.  I love the fact we make laws nowadays under the assumption that everyone is an incompetent idiot.  We put things like “Do Not Eat” on shampoo bottles.  “Do Not Use In Shower or Bath” on hair dryers.  It’s insane and pointless and as far as I am concerned these stupid warning should not be there.  I am strong believer in evolution and that only the strong survive.  By warning the stupid, all we’re doing is allowing them to breed.  Over the past 30 years it has gotten out of hand, don’t believe me?  Bush got elected twice!  Once, hell, I voted for that guy the first time.  But twice?  Please it didn’t take me that long to realize he was a loon.  But society, not so quick to come to that conclusion.  It took a recession and an obviously miss planed war before people finally woke up.  But, I digress.   And I apologize I don’t want to go all political here.  Unless you actually support Bush, but if you’ve read this far in to my story, I am sure you don’t because most Bush supporters don’t have this long of an attention span. :)

So anyways, I hear this deafening sound.  It was so sharp that the silence just after it, was also deafening.  At the same time this is happening, I am blinded by a brilliant white light.  In the split second it took for all of this to occur I had curled myself in to standing ball.  Basically one leg, both arms and my head moved so quickly, with a such a violent jerk into this odd standing fetal position that I am guessing had someone been watching me, they wouldn’t have actually seen me move.  I would be standing straight and then in the blink of an eye I would be all hunched over.  In the split second all this happened I also thought something exploded and it was so close that I am about to die.

It was the most intense second of my life.  Now to put that in somekinda perspective for you.  I have been shot, stabbed and even had my heart broken.  I have looked death in the eyes and walked away from it.  And, though I have been afraid before this night and feared for my life on more than one occasion, nothing was as intense as this split second was.  It was brutal and suddenly becoming painful.

The emotions just lasted a few seconds.  A split second of total and uncontrollable fear and then over the next two seconds or maybe three I got control of myself.  And, I did what I think any sane human being would do.  I started to look around to see if anyone saw me jump like an idiot at the scary loud noise.  Still no one around, good.  But then I look in to the store and I can see the kid who was mopping the floor more clearly now as he’s standing just behind the glass door.  He’s a skinny teen.  A black kid who was really dark not light skinned at all.  His eyes were so wide open it looked like they were going to pop out.  His jaw had dropped so his mouth was wide open with shock.  It was almost comical, it was like he had seen a ghost.

It’s at this moment I smell smoke and I see that he is looking just above my head.  I look up and see that the roof just above my head.  Maybe 8 ft above maybe less, was smoking.  The lightning strike had either started or stopped just above my head. I had to get a better look and walked out in to the rain, out from under the gas pump ports to get a better look.  It was insane.  The tin was all blackened in small spot and smoking and I am pretty sure I heard a sizzle as water fell on it.  But, that may have just been in my head.

Now, I was wide awake.  I didn’t crave the coffee so much anymore and had this overwhelming desire to get out of the rain I was no standing in.  I got in my car and as I reached for my seatbelt with my right arm, my shoulder sent out a surge of pain that stopped me in my tracks.  I twisted a little more towards the seatbelt so I wouldn’t have to reach that far with my right hand.  I managed to get the seatbelt on.  As I had twisted my body it ached.  I pulled out of the gas station and for maybe the next half hour my body started to ache more and more.  It was that sudden and violent jerk I made when the lightning struck.  I am guessing all my muscles suddenly flinched in to action with a strength they didn’t know they had.

It was about an hour later that the rain seemed slow and another hour after that it was all done for the most part.  But, my interesting evening wasn’t over yet.

It’s been a few hours and I have calmed down now, I am still sore but I don’t have to move that much while driving so it’s all good.  I am listening to John Saul now, don’t recall the book, I think it was Nathaniel?  Anyways, I look in the rearview mirror, something I do constantly.  Always check my mirrors, like to know what’s in front of me, to the side and behind so my eyes are always moving. I check the rearview and then my eyes do their normal jump to what’s in front.  My brain however, is still processing what it saw in the rearview mirror and I do a double take to the rearview mirror because I am positive that I saw one of my best friends sitting in the back seat.  My good buddy Shane of all people.  Haven’t talked to him in a long time, we had sort of a falling out over a girl.  Still friends but he feels I betrayed our friendship and though I didn’t I totally understand why he would think that.

My eyes focus on the spot where I thought I saw him.  Now, it’s dark back there but as I am staring in to that spot where I could have sworn I saw him, I see nothing.  Just then I pass under a street light and sure enough, Shane is sitting in my backseat.  Now I know he can’t be there and I keep staring at him.  The light passes and I can just barely make out his face in the dark and I am terrified.  Another light passes and I swear that’s his face in the soft light.  I look away and shake my head and look back and he’s still there!  Just as I am about to say something, it’s like he fades away as the light fades away.  I reach up and turn on the dome light.  There’s no one there.

I am however, sure I saw him.  It wasn’t a passing glance, I was looking right at him, well right at him through the mirror.  Now, as I continue to drive I do what most people do, I start to rationalize it.  It had to be shadows, the way the light was falling, a mixture of that and reflections.  It makes sense to me and I accept it for it what it was, just a trick of light and shadows.

I start my audio book back up and then stop it a second after clicking play.  I get this sick feeling.  Being someone that watches a lot of horror type movies and reads a good amount of horror books I start to think about the real stories I have heard.  The stories people have told about seeing the dead.  Seeing a friend or relative in a vision or dream finding out later that at the time they saw them, their friend was already dead.  I felt sick to my stomach.  I know Shane and I weren’t as close as we once were but I love the guy.  The thought of him being dead was really bothering me.  However, I knew it was silly and for me, no matter how strange things get, logic always wins.

The passenger side floor contains my ice chest.  I reach over and grab another Red Bull.  It makes a refreshing pop when it opens and I take a long sip from it.  I once again give myself the chills and I kinda giggle.  What if seeing Shane wasn’t a trick of light and shadow and what if it wasn’t a premonition either.  What if I was dead?  What if I never got back in my car back at that gas station.  That lightning strike was really close.  Shouldn’t I be dead from that or in shock from being that close to so much electricity?  What if I am actually lying there dead by that gas pump?

It made for some fun thoughts on my drive that night. It’s why I love the drive so much.  No matter how logical you are or how intelligent, when you’re out on the road all alone, there’s this sense that anything can happen.  This was by far one of my most interesting drives but every drive cross country is good for some story.  Like on one of my drives out to Florida, while passing through Texas there was the Chupacobra I saw in the middle of the road just before sunrise.  There was the time I had to seriously use the bathroom and was 75 miles from the next gas station.  I knew I wasn’t gonna make so I pulled over.  Middle of the night, middle of nowhere and just as I pull my pants down I hear this strange sound coming right for me from the darkness behind.  I just knew it was the Jeepers Creeper’s dude!

Absolutely fun and scary, every time.

Carrie Prejean is a Lying, Gay Hating, Bitch…

Written by admin on May 12th, 2009

Probably about to lie to Billy Bush's face.

Probably about to lie to Billy Bush's face.

Ok, I have had enough of this stupid bitch.  Let me first start by saying, I don’t give a shit that is against gay marriage.  I respect her for standing up for what she ignorantly believes in.  What I can’t stand is this holier than thou bitch lied.  And, she has done nothing but continue to lie and claim ignorance about it.  I am absolutely disgusted with Trumps approval of this lying bitch hypocrite.

Not only did she lie about the photo when it was released. But, then when more were released she lied about it.  And, now this morning TMZ released more photos of her and this time she is naked.  And, now, she has the audacity to say that they are fake.   And, Mr. Trump and his bad hair stands by her side.  She must have given him a hummer this morning to keep that crown because I can’t believe The Donald is that fucking stupid otherwise.

Carrie Prejean said that she just didn’t think about the photos when asked on her 12 page contract form.  That posing fucking nude just slipped her mind when signing what had to be the most important contract in her whole fucking worthless life of being a lying sack of shit.  She’s still just a kid.  She claims the photos were taken when she was 16 or 17 and asks us, “Do you remember what you did when you were 16?”  Well, yes I fucking do you dumb bitch.  I am nearly 40 fucking years old and there’s just certain fucking things in life one remembers.  I remember getting laid for the first time when I was 15.  I remember sneaking in to my girlfriends house when I was 16, who I had a crush on since the 8th grade, and getting to slide my hand up her shit and feel her breast for the first time.   And, had I taken off my clothes in front of a fucking camera as a minor, I would have recalled that bit of information.

It’s funny how these fucking christians can lie all fucking day long and get away with it.  These are the most evil fucking people on the planet.  I don’t know if it’s that they actually believe their own lying bullshit or what but these fucking loons can justify anything.  I once heard a christian pastor justify rape to a married couple.  No shit, this fucking idiot said it was ok that a husband raped his wife.  Said, he shouldn’t do it again and that he should respect his wife’s desire not to sleep with him.  But, that her body is his as the bible says and so it was not rape.

These people are sick in the fucking head.  They constantly hate on what they don’t like.  And, they use bible to justify everything wrong they do. Normally that would be ok, but since the bible says slavery is ok and being gay isn’t.  Well, it’s not much a fucking book as far am concerned.  I have never been a slave, I have never been gay, never experimented with it.  But, here’s the deal.  If you would deny someone the same rights as you based on religion, race or sex or sexuality than you’re full of shit and judgmental.  And, I could be wrong here but I am pretty sure the bible doesn’t support lying and it doesn’t support judging others.  If you’re a christian and doing either, than you’re a bad christian and a horrible person.

In my humble opinion, Carrie Prejean is a lying, horrible, gay hating, person.  I am ashamed that a person of her weak moral fiber is allowed to represent my state.  She is absolutely disgusting and Mr. Trump should be ashamed of himself for supporting this lying bitch.

This is the story of how I became a cheater…

Written by admin on May 6th, 2009

It was the best of times; it was the worst of times.  It really was.  Dickens said it best.  Though I am sure he didn’t have this story in mind when he wrote that.  So many girls, so many confusing moments and too much of a coward to say what really needed to be said at that point of my life.

I was young man back then.  This is back in 93 it must have been.  I was married.  I had been married for about 4 years and I hated my life.   I was Reserve Deputy Sheriff and worked part time security at the local mall.  You had to be a real cop to work that security job so it was a blast.  Great friends, amazing women in ever store.  The temptations were all around me.

At first I had not given in to the temptations.  I was married and though not happy, cheating, well, it wasn’t my thing.  Though almost every other cop that worked with me had a girlfriend at the mall on the side.  It was so easy to score but I never did.  I knew my marriage needed work and so I worked at it.  I worked hard at it.  It just seemed that at the time my wife wasn’t.

My wife was book smart, she was a teacher and we had one kid together.  What a great kid he was. And, still is actually.  Now about ready to graduate from high school.  How time flies.  I had came out and told the wife that I wasn’t happy and that I felt things needed to change.  Basically, I needed sex.  We had it a lot before we got married and then we get married and almost overnight my lovely wife turned in to her mother.  It was so stereotypical it wasn’t even funny.

Once my son was born the sex almost completely stopped.  I tried so many times to tell her that we needed to spend some quality time together.  She would cry and promise it would change.  But, it never did.  For years and years it was like that.  So many times we would have this talk and the very same night we would head to bed and I make my move for sex and she wouldn’t be interested.  I went to bed pissed off every night for years.

One spring day, I decided I wanted to go see a movie and have a nice dinner.   I asked the wife if she was up for it.  She again shot me down.  It was at this point that something clicked in my mind.  It was in that instance that she said no, that I stopped giving a shit about the relationship.  I never tried again.

Later that day, at work at the mall, I was taking a break at the pizza place there.  One of the girls who worked one of the amusement rides we had at either end of the mall.  A little train that went around a large track on one side and Ferris wheel at the other side.  She asked if she could sit down with me, I said sure, thinking nothing of it.

We get to talking, I never said much to her before, she was younger than me by a few years, I was 23 at the time.  She was younger, in college.  So cute, amazing smile.  We laughed and talked and she confessed that she had a crush on me.  How cool was that?!  I told her right up front.  “Look, I am married; I am going through a bad time right now.  But, there’s a theater at the mall, if you want to catch a movie after work, I am all for it.”  This is how it started.

We saw a few movies over the next few days and before I knew it were having great sex.  Constantly having sex.  This girl, really seemed to like me.  She wanted to have sex; she wanted it as much as I did.  I was amazed.  I had thought it was me.  The wife had really messed with my head.  Over the next few months we did it all the time.  We had sex about every time we saw each other.  At the mall, during work, after work, before work.  We got along really well too.  We talked about stuff and it was pretty damn cool.

It was at this time, a buddy of mine brought a girlfriend of his with him down to the mall to meet me.  I had realized that the girl I was seeing was a little too young for me.  She was in college, but she graduated early.  I didn’t know that.  I couldn’t stay in the relationship so I had been backing out if it.  She was really hurt but understood.

In comes Laura.  Now Laura isn’t her real name but for the purpose of this story, that name works fine.  Laura was the most sexy, beautiful women I had ever known.  She was 19, so amazingly hot.  I mean she wasn’t perfect looking but she just reeked of sexy appeal.  We didn’t really hit it off that well, but for some reason she decided to go out with me.  After a few dates, we were in love.  It happened that fast.  I would tell her everything.  For months it was great.

My life at home sucked but I found time to sneak away to see Laura all the time.  I felt guilty at home at but I had tried.  My wife never put in the effort.  She had been suspecting that I was cheating, and it wasn’t until a neighbor saw me and Laura out in public that it all turned to shit.  My neighbor went to my house and told my wife.  I couldn’t believe it.  I came home to all my shit on the front steps.

I grabbed my stuff and walked in.  I wasn’t about to go get a room or stay with a friend.  This was my house; I am not getting kicked out of my own house.  We talked all night.  But, I denied everything.  I didn’t think I would.  I was going to admit to it all.  But, I didn’t.  For some reason, seeing her crying, I lost all my strength and I became a coward.  I lied to her.

Let me take this moment to say that if you’re cheating, you’re a coward.  I will go on to explain why later.

Things didn’t get better with the wife but I was staying in my house and she once again had said that she would try.  She never did.  But, whatever, I wasn’t about to stop seeing Laura anyways.

Over the next year or so I was getting pressure nonstop from Laura to leave my wife.  I would tell her things, like “It’s not that easy.”  “We have kids, I can’t leave just yet.”  There were so many excuses. So many reasons why, but not one of them really mattered.  A man would have left.  A real man would have moved out.  I didn’t.

At one point, I was having so much fun fucking everyone I could.  Laura and I were serious but as long the options were on the table I was gonna hit every hot women that said yes.  My best and worst day came when the young girl I had been seeing first wanted to talk.  I went over to her house.  We made love on the living room floor of her parent’s house.  It was amazing sex!  I went home and took a shower.  I get a call from Laura, she wanted to see me.  I head over to her house.  We made love on her couch.  It was incredible.  It was sex like you see in movies.  All that passion, everything happened so flawlessly.  I leave because now I have to go to work.  I run home and shower again.

After work a few of us head down to a local cop bar.  We have fun, and I meet this amazingly beautiful blonde lady.  She was so fine.  She was older than me, I guessed maybe 35 or 36. Tall, tan, perfect sized tits and amazing face, absolutely perfect.  We keep talking and this bar is about to close and everyone wants to go to Denny’s.  She rides with me, on the way there she gives me a hummer.  It was fantastic.  I told her I was about to cum.  I’m a nice guy.  I give the ladies the heads up when I am about to blow my load.  No surprises for them.  I know, I am a gentleman.

We have fun at Denny’s and from their head back to her place.  She’s married but her husband is out of town.  We fuck like mad but I cum real quick.  But so did she.  She was a moaner.  I mean from the moment I slid it inside her, she starts to moan.  That honest moan.  It was so intense.  We did it like three times, each time she came before I did and I came fast each time.

Now it’s like 4 am.  I have to get home so I can take a shower and get an hour of sleep before I have to get up and head back to work.  As I arrive home, I jump in the shower.  I get out and crawl in to bed.  To my surprise, my wife is in the mood.  Now, it had been nearly a year since we had sex.  Now she wants it.  I am so damn tired, but, I can’t help myself.  We have sex.  In one day, I did 4 different women.

The next day, I was amazed.  It dawned on me what I had done.  4 girls, one day, I was king stud of the world!

Eventually, the wife and I split.  I broke her heart.  I broke my heart.  That one time, we had sex. She wasn’t on the pill.  She tells me a few months later that she’s pregnant.  I never felt more trapped in my life.  I couldn’t leave now.  I had to stay.  But, it was bad.  Finally she kicked me out again when my daughter was just over year old.  I never realized how bad I would miss the kids.

I got my own apartment and soon Laura had moved in with me.  There were no other girls.  I loved Laura, she loved me.  But damn if I didn’t miss the shit out of my kids.  I kept hearing voiced telling me to stay married, cheat forever so you can keep your kids.  I really considered that.  I almost went that route.  The wife and I hooked up once after the split and had sex.  It was really good, she seemed to actually like. I came over to her apartment a few times a week for a month or two.  We had only had sex that once as I recall.  I had told Laura I was going to see the kids.  That was true, but there was more to it and I was too much of a coward to tell Laura the confusion I had felt.  I didn’t want to scare her away.  I didn’t want to lose her.  But, I wasn’t ready to give up my kids.

As it turns out, I didn’t have a choice.  I had to stay with Laura, it’s what I wanted I loved her.  But, in the process, I hurt Laura when she found out that I had slept with the ex-wife.  I had hurt the wife again when she thought we were getting back together and really were not.  I couldn’t have handled the situation any worse than I did.

All the excuses I had to stay married.  For the kids, it’s the worse excuse of them all.  Staying in a bad marriage does nothing for the kids.  The kids may not understand that mom and dad are staying together for them.  They just think this is the way it is supposed to be.  They grow up to do the same things you do.  It’s a never ending cycle and it has to stop. So I can say with confidence, if you’re cheating right now and don’t want to stop.  You need to get divorced or separate.  You are eventually gonna get caught and you’re gonna break her heart.  Be a man, or be woman and break up.  Take some time off and get your shit together.  And, if you have kids, it’s even more important that you break up.

Laura was heartbroken when she discovered that I had cheated on her with the ex-wife.  I had hurt the two women I loved the most and I had hurt my kids by not being there.  I fucked up pretty damn good.

Laura at one point, in tears, told me that she hopes I know what it’s like to one day have the person you love, betray you.  Laura and I had stayed together for total time of almost three years.  We were engaged when the break up finally happened.  After I lost her.  I went through the worst pain of my life as far as relationships go.  I wasn’t seeing my kids anymore because I was a loser and the ex said it was best that I stay away so I did.  I missed my kids and it hurt a lot.  But, the pain of losing Laura, well that would just pretty much make me numb all the time.

I started drinking after work.  Never became an alcoholic or anything though I would spend every waking minute that I wasn’t at work, at the bar.  I would be there from open to close. Never wanting to go home because I knew as I got home alone, I would curl up in bed and start to cry from missing my Laura and missing my kids.  No matter what I did I was fucked and it was all my doing.

Since then I have had only a few serious relations ships.  Oddly enough, all of them have been with married women.  I have never again cheated.  I could never do that again.  I have been tested a few times, I just can’t do it.  However, seeking the comfort of a married women, as long as you don’t fall in love with her, is a good place to be.  You get to have sex a few times a month and then go about your business.  No questions, do what you want, it’s actually great.

However, if you fall in love with them as I did, twice.  You’re heading for heartbreak.  The first girl was married to a Mexican christian dude who was a real fuckwad.  This guy treated her like shit, she wouldn’t leave.  She finally does leave him after more than a year of me being the shoulder for her to cry on, she calls me up one day and say’s she can’t see me anymore.  She’s got all this new found freedom and it’s only fair that she explores it.  I had been there, I understood, but it still hurt.

A few years later I start dating a girl at the supermarket.  She’s married, to a born again Mexican dude.  He’s treating her like shit. Driving her to drink.  For a while it was good though.  She worked a block away.  She would come over day she worked and blow me.  I didn’t ask for it, she just loved it.  How could I complain?  But, also, how can you not fall in love with that.  We both eventually exchanged the I love you’s.  She denied that she could ever leave him.  I knew that it was just a matter of time.

We were in love, she would talk of moving in with me, she would clean my house every time she came over, she said my place just felt like home.  We kissed and talked a lot.  A very intimate relationship.  I had fallen so hard for her.  I was amazed and never thought I would feel that way about someone again.  We went through so much.  Her husband even raped her.  She cried on my shoulder.  We were so close, no secrets.

But, she was drinking a lot.  One night she shows up at my place completely wasted.  She’s mumbling then falls asleep on the floor in front of the TV.  I cover her with a blanket and watch over her from my desk in the corner of the room.  She wakes up briefly about an hour later.  Still out of it.  But, she mumbles, I kissed the tattoo guy.  Then she falls back asleep.

She had been getting tattoos, I am not a big fan of them and she was going through a rough time and this was not the time to be getting inked up.  But, she kept getting little ones here and there.  But, when she said she kissed the tattoo it all made sense to me now.  She had been seeing someone else.  So she’s married, seeing me, seeing the tattoo guy and going home to hubby at the end of the day.

Later she wakes up and confesses all to me.  I ask her to leave and not to call me again unless she is ready to commit to me.  She calls me constantly.  Not wanting to commit.  Just wanting to come over and have sex.  At first I said no.  But, then a few weeks go by with no sex and you really start to miss those blowjobs.  I let her come over.  She’s still saying she loves me.  She’s not talking about the tattoo guy but I don’t ask questions.  It’s just good to spend time with her.  I try not to think about other men she may be seeing.  And, when her amazing lips are wrapped around my throbbing cock, well, it’s easy to not think about anything at all.

Eventually I start to think all of our time spent together means something; she still says she loves me.  I had started saying it back.  And then I find out she never stopped seeing the other dude.  I couldn’t believe it.  I had trusted her again.  Something had clicked in me like it did way back on that fateful day when my wife refused to go out to dinner and movie that last time.

Whatever it was that clicked, I just knew, I would never fall in love again.  Not, that I wasn’t going to let myself, but rather, because something in me died.  Whatever that love gene is, it was gone.  This was now 5 or 6 years ago.  I haven’t had a serious relationship since then.  Though I am still seeing a married chick.  But, this time it’s safe.  We went to high school together and had thing just after high school.  She’s great and I like her a lot.  But, we don’t see each other that much.  Maybe once a month.  Maybe more, sometimes less.

But, it’s a good thing.  Neither of us are capable of any more than what we have to give each other.  I don’t think either wants more from the other.  Or maybe we do, but both have been hurt enough to know not to ask for it.  Because honestly, I don’t think I could keep a straight face if a girl ever told me she loved me again.  Seriously, after the past 11 years, it would seem that Laura’s curse is still in effect.  Any time I get close to someone, she will eventually cheat on me.  She will hurt me somehow.

I don’t complain about it.  I was coward back then.  I hurt a lot of women back in the day and well, to be honest.  I know I don’t deserve to find or have true love.  And, as much as I would like to have someone to share my life with, being alone is pretty cool.  I do what I when I want.  I want to leave for Laughlin for the weekend.  I do it!  I want to go for a drive for hours and hours just because I got  a new Dean Koontz book on CD and want to listen to it.  I start the car and go.  Too much freedom to give up.  But, in the end, it’s safer this way.  Sure I miss the intimacy but it’s just not worth the pain of the loss.  I am hard guy to love.  It’s better this way.  It’s not great.  But, it could be a whole lot worse.  So, I will sit here and live with this curse I earned probably till the day I die.  I deserve much worse for the coward I once was.

Sometimes we learn valuable lessons in life at just the right time.  Sometimes, we learn them a day too late and the damage is done.

Heckler a documentary by Jamie Kennedy…

Written by admin on April 30th, 2009

heckler-movie-dvd-cover1Heckler is an interesting look at hecklers from the performers point of view.  I very much enjoyed it though at times, it’s brutally honest comments of people about Jamie Kennedy was hard to hear.  I’ve liked Mr. Kennedy.  Though I haven’t seen all his films or stand up specials but I’ve seen a few I’ve always found his stuff to be entertaining.

Now, this doc was not something I rented or had even heard of.  I was just browsing through the ondemand option with my cable company and came across, it sounded interesting so I watched it.  But, to my surprise it was more than that.  It was actually thought provoking and it got me thinking a lot about this site and all my rants and bitching about anything from movies to stupid people.  In fact it’s one of the reasons I haven’t posted in a while.  I wanted to post about this movie and the thoughts I’ve had about it and how it very well may change the way I make my posts.

Heckler brought up a lot of issues from dozens of performers, directors and actors.  Now it seemed that a lot of them find the movie review to be completely worthless.  I agree to a point.  I can name hundreds of movies I liked and enjoyed that critics hated.  Anyone who takes the word of a single critic is an idiot to begin with.  But, critics, at least good critics give us a peak at a film.  They can maybe shed some insight or perhaps hint at whether we would like it or not.  As for me, I know that it doesn’t matter if a critic likes a film or not, I can tell most of the time whether I will like the movie or not based on what the critic says.  Even if they hated the film, they might mention things they hated about it that I happen to like.

Jamie Kennedy’s doc brought up the harshness of some critics though and it really got me thinking.  They gave example of actual reviews of some of Mr. Kennedy’s films and it seemed that these guys really hated his work.  At least that’s the way I took the review.  But, as Mr. Kennedy questioned the critic and re-read excerpts it seemed that it wasn’t even the movie they hated, it was Mr. Kennedy.  They were insulting to the person more than the film.  And, a lot of the reviews were very mean spirited.

All this as I mentioned made me think about the few reviews I have made.  Was I harsh on the people or the film?  My rant about Rob Zombies “H2″ The Halloween sequel coming out this August.  As I recall I was really harsh on Mr. Zombie.  I didn’t review the film because I haven’t seen it.  I did say what I didn’t like about the first one he made and why I didn’t like it.  And also, how I think the film could have been better.  But, was I too harsh on the person?  I don’t know?  When you’re dealing with someone who is taking a classic, remaking and marketing it as their “own vision” you can’t help but critique the person because the film is being sold as more than just a film, it’s being sold as this person’s opinion of what should be.  And, if their opinion sucks how can you not get personal.

When reviewing a normal movie though, I think that it’s important to not attack the actors too personally.  They may act bad, they may not have portrayed a character the way you would like to have seen it.  But, I do agree that critics should be a little more careful of what they critique and how they critique it.

So, in the future I am going to pay more attention to things I say, how I say them and I will try to not make my attacks of films get more personal than necessary.

So, Mr. Kennedy I applaud you and your Documentary “Heckler”.  It was thought provoking, entertaining and a pleasure to watch.

Supernatural is coming to an end…

Written by admin on April 2nd, 2009

Dean and Sam Winchester

Dean and Sam Winchester

So, I added the 8 Films to Die For to this week’s Netflix queue and the first batch arrived today.  I am making my favorite dinner and when that’s ready, I plan to sit back in my recliner, eat a great meal and enjoy every minute of the movies!  However, something else arrived in the mail.  The latest addition of Entertainment Weekly.  I go and toss it on the stand next my porcelain throne where it will wait for next trip to the bathroom to be read.  Sure the magazine is better than that but I don’t have a lot of time and bathroom time, is quality time damn it!

Well, bathroom time came a little while later and as I look at the cover I see that one of the major stories is about how Supernatural is more popular than ever and the creator and actor want out.  I had to rant about that.  I almost put down the magazine right then and there without reading it so I could come in here in to my office and rant about how stupid that would be if they actually did that.  But…  Far be it from me to go off half-cocked.  I read the full article.  I can’t go offering an opinion if I don’t know the whole story or at least as much as I can before I rip them a new one.  In a nutshell, the creator Eric Kripke has said that he’s only got 5 seasons in him.  So much for being a creative genius I guess.

There is so much to explore with these characters.  For the creator to say, it’s all he’s got.  Wow, someone needs a vacation.  A nice long one to get his head screwed on straight.  I know how it can be when you work on something for so long that you just can’t see straight any more.  How, if you never have to deal with it again it would be too soon.  But, after a good vacation, I always find inspiration.

But, Mr. Kripke isn’t the only issue here.  The two stars seem to want off the show as well.  This is the biggest issue as I can see it.  I can understand it though.  But, it would be a mistake more than likely.  I can only hope the studio throws a heap of money at all of the above to keep them happy and bitch free.

Jared Padalecki and Jensen Ackles this is for you so please pay attention.  I like the show.  It’s not my favorite but it sure is entertaining.  And, as for pure fun in TV, it’s got to be in my top five shows currently running.  I understand, this isn’t really your concern, though why it wouldn’t be, I have no idea.  Here’s why you should be concerned.  One, you should NEVER LEAVE A HIT SHOW!  Two, and please take this next one with a grain of salt because it’s kinda harsh.  YOU ARE NOT ALL THAT!

A lot of good TV actors have left their popular TV shows over the years to go on to do film.  Most of them we have never heard of again.  Well, that’s not true, there’s always the next Lifetime movie of the week starting Judith Light.  The economy sucks and just because you both just did major motion pictures that almost did ok at the box doesn’t mean anything.  Let’s face it, My Bloody Valentine and the new Friday the 13th movie were disappointments.  I paid to see both of them.  I enjoyed them, but left both feeling that they could have been so much better.  You have a good show, ride it for as long as you can because the next one may not be there.  You both may have offers on the table.  You might have a lot stuff you could also be doing but once you leave and do something else, if it sucks.  You’re not gonna have too many chances after that.

When I say that you’re not all that.  I mean, look, you’re both good looking guys with talent.  Every food server in LA has that.  The only thing that makes you two better than them right now is that you have a hit TV show right now!  Lose that and it’s all over.  You may not believe me.  You may want to believe that everyone is always going to love you but the truth is, no one loves you yet.  They love what you do, not who you are.

Sean Connery is loved.  He can do a movie or not do a movie.  He turned down the last Indiana Jones movie and ya know what?  We still love him.  We all will gladly go see whatever he does next, if he ever does anything next.  The both of you have such great potential.  Don’t waste it on maybe’s.  Take what you have now and ride it with all the passion and heart that your hottest female fans would ride you with given the chance.

Now getting back to Supernatural as a whole.  Here’s why it’s not my favorite show, how it could be and in general what’s wrong with it.  Oh and where to go after the season 5 end battle between the devil and the angels.

First, to me, that isn’t an ending.  That is a copout!  What you have there is a beginning of something great.  Not an ending. But, there’s some things you need to do first.  And, by “you” I mean the writers, crew and actors.  Get out of the soap opera thing that you’ve got goin on with the shows.

Let me explain what I mean by going back to the beginning.  The X-Files.  This is always one of my most

The X-Files

The X-Files

favorite shows of all time.  I have every season on DVD and as much as I loved the show, I could have done without almost half of the episodes and I will tell you why.  No one gives a shit about mythology.  Don’t be fooled by all the geeks that actually write the show and write fan mail and post on fan forums.  These zit faced morons have the depth of a puddle.  They are so shallow, they only have one side. Some mythology is a good thing.  But, when it dominates each show, we lose interest.  We want a good strong story to start and finish in one or two episodes.

This soap opera shit is how you keep the sheep coming back.  It’s an insult to the rest of us and is what keeps more people from watching the show.  Sure we want to know the back stories.  Sure we want to know about these ongoing battles with angels and demons and conflicts between the brothers.  But, too much of a good thing, isn’t.  What intelligent people want is to tune in and see a good scary or interesting story and be done with it.  Stand alone episodes, with hints at the past for those who are really paying attention.

Fox Mulder and Dana Scully

Fox Mulder and Dana Scully

The X-Files started spending so much damn time with the sister issue, with the cover-up issues that it just became a distraction and with each new episode I would become sadly disappointed when I found that it was yet another episode dealing with the stupid mythology that never got solved.  There was never an answer that didn’t get changed 9 times by the end of the series.  So, all it really did was give us a bunch of fake orgasms over 9 years with no real, curl your toes, jizz in your pants moments.  One let down after another.  The best episodes were those stand alones.  Something creepy happens and Fox and Dana have to solve it.  Didn’t matter if it could be explained scientifically at the end of the show or there was some doubt as to its origins.

Supernatural I will admit is handling season 4 the best.  They so far seem to be mostly stand alone episodes that delve only a little in to the mythology.  But, even that is too much.  You’re blowing your load during foreplay here.  Maybe 3 or 4 times a season at most you should delve in to the mythology.  It makes it so much better when you tune in to watch and you get thrown a tasty morel of a characters past, or future or of some ongoing storyline.  But what you’re doing is making it like a birthday. You do that every episode and it it loses it meaning.  It isn’t special any more.  It’s become routine and almost boring.

I am not sure how to fully explain it but basically, mythologies are great, however all myth and no substance is a waste of time.  Make great shows, about new things.  A show is always fresh when you’re not beating the same old dead horse.  You can have a ton of shows about demons and ghosts and have it never get old if you have a creative writing staff that can think outside of the box.

Adding a little more scare though I think would be a plus.  The show isn’t really scary. It’s had some good episodes that in scare factor rivaled most current horror movies but let’s face, most current horror movies kinda suck.  You need more wow!  You need more seriousness too.  You need some depth of character in some serious dramatic ways. I have seen good attempts at this.  There was a werewolf episode a few years back.  Sam as I recall was falling in love with a girl who we discover is a werewolf and he does everything he can to save her but in the end, he could not and chose to kill her himself.  I remember watching and sitting back when it was and thinking, wow.  That was show could have won an Emmy, it was that good.

I like the cheese, I like the inside jokes, “I’m agent Angus, and this is Agent Young.”  That kinda stuff is great don’t lose it.  There’s just the right amount of that kinda stuff.  Just make the rest a little more serious and this show could out run the X-Files, lead to movies and become one of the best horror/sci-fi shows ever.

Or you can all bitch and whine and walk away next season and I will look forward to seeing the cast and crew five years from now in various, straight to video, Dean Caine movies and Lifetime features. It’s your call.

And where do you go after the great battle at the end of season 5?  So many options.  But, dive in to how Sam and Dean or dealing with concept of being that close to the end of the world.  How, they dealt with being so significant that God himself chose them to help.  Find a happy medium with Sam’s demon blood.  These back story tensions can last for seasons and never get old as long as you keep giving people good, scary, and interesting stories each week.  If any of the writers think that’s too hard, then give them a vacation and I will come down help out.  Give me at least one experienced writer and I will give you stories that will scare the shit even the most cynical critics like me.

H2: Is Rob Zombie gonna fuck up another Halloween?

Written by admin on March 26th, 2009
H2: Halloween 2

H2: Halloween 2

Ok, here’s the deal.  According to IMDB Rob Zombie is Directing what is being called at this time, H2.  Halloween 2.  Now before I go off on a rant about this movie, let me first go back and review his first attempt at remaking Halloween.

When I first heard that Rob Zombie was gonna direct a remake of the very classic modern day horror movie “Halloween” I was actually excited.  Being a true fan of the original film directed by the great John Carpenter one would think that I would be against such sacrilege.  No, actually I thought it would be fun to go back and take another look.  Unfortunately, Rob Zombie didn’t call for me my opinion before he began to butcher one of the greatest horror films of all time.

First off, he completely fucked up the whole scary concept by once again, going with the white trash theme that he seems so at home in.  Not that I think he is white trash, just that if you look at most of, if not all of his movies, there’s gonna be white trash in it, is all I’m saying.  There’s nothing really scary, shocking or revealing about the idea that a kid born from that level of white trash that his Michael came from, turning in to a psycho killer.  I mean really, that upbringing, who wouldn’t?  One of the things that made the first film shocking was that Michael came from a seemingly normal family.  Good people in a nice small town.

Second, RZ’s Michael was a cry baby.  Maybe it’s that I relate to JC’s Michael on some strange level?  But, I know that character so well.  I know this kid spent 15 years or more in a mental institution and never said a word.  He just sat looking out the window, as if waiting for something.  He didn’t lose it, he didn’t cry or have temper tantrums.  No, he sat in wait.  He wasn’t a man or a child, he was pure evil in human form.

Now had RZ put a little thought in to the remake of Halloween.  He would have realized that white trash Michael isn’t scary.  He’s predictable.  Go back to JC’s Michael and use that.  You want to dive in to his youth, cool.  Picture this.  Michael’s mom begins growing concerned because Michael, while still in the womb isn’t kicking or moving like babies should.  But, rather one time, she feels the most violent of pain as if he’s trying to stab his way out.  And, then she gives birth.  But, the baby isn’t crying.  he’s not making a sound.  The doctors are spanking his ass, clearing his air ways, no sound.  They finally realize he is breathing, he’s ok, he just didn’t cry.

Continue on.  Various birthday parties, no smiles, no sound, no emotion or very little.  Maybe young Michael loses a friend.  He’s now maybe 5 or 6 and he doesn’t cry.  All dressed up for the funeral and unable to show the emotion everyone else is.  He’s maybe beginning to see that he’s different.  He doesn’t understand why?  Maybe he talks from time to time.   Maybe he asks his loving mom why.  Then it happens, he kills his sister.  He feels nothing. But inside there is more than a rage.

His normal sister could laugh and play.  His mother and father could laugh and play with her.  They could joke together, they could “feel” together.  They could watch movies and cry together, Michael cannot.  He loves his sister but at the same time he hates what she has.  He hates her on a level he can’t understand, it isn’t rage, it isn’t jealousy, it’s a feeling or emotion he doesn’t understand.  It’s not human to feel that way.

He gets locked up.  Studied, and further draws in to his shell.  He realizes, he truly isn’t like everyone else.

Now, maybe it’s just me, but a baby that doesn’t cry is a lot more creepy and interesting than one that does.  A kid killing his sister is scary but when you throw in white trash and abuse, it’s understandable and not scary.  When a kid kills his sister and he comes from a good home.  That makes you wonder why.

On almost every level Rob Zombie missed the very essence of what made Michael so terrifying.  Instead he just made Michael another victim of circumstance.  Another predictability.  And, now he wants he wants to direct a sequel. I am sorry, but no, I can’t support this.

I have enjoyed RZ’s movies in the past.  I haven’t thought any of them are instant classics but they were fun and sometimes interesting.  But, enough of the white trash, ghetto bullshit.  It’s been done, it’s predictable and it’s not very interesting at all.

Now, I can’t offer a review of the new movie, H2 as I have not seen it.  And, I will never review a film I haven’t seen.  I can’t stand film critics for the most part.  I have seen them review films they haven’t seen, or walked out of.  I am not that kinda guy.  I love my movies, I will give every movie a fair chance.   I more than likely won’t go see H2 in theaters because I already know it’s gonna suck.  However, I will see it on DVD.  I will tell myself, this isn’t my vision of Michael, this is someone else’s.  Let’s give them a fair chance and just be thankful we get to see Michael back on the big screen again.

Learn more about this movie at IMDM:
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1311067/

Religion, acceptable lunacy… Part 1

Written by admin on March 18th, 2009
Buddy Christ

Buddy Christ

Sure there’s a lot of religions out there.  It seems everyone has one nowadays.  We’ve got Muslim making the mainstream.  Seems it’s just more than that peaceful thing Kareem Said from HBO’s Oz practiced.   These fucking loons are scary but don’t get me wrong, Christians have done way more harm than Muslims have over the years.  Christians when left unchecked are just as dangerous, and quite possibly the most hypocritical folk on the face of the planet.

Anyone believing in God is by definition crazy.  But, that doesn’t mean they are completely nuts.  It’s for some reason acceptable to believe in fairytales when a god or Santa Clause is involved.  I am not sure why this is.  I mean we all want to believe in Santa Clause but we all know he isn’t real.  He’s is just fun story to tell and makes us feel good.  But, we really don’t live our lives devoted to this pretend figure.  Some of us just give him a few weeks a year of thought and try to be better to our fellow man.  However, when it comes to gods we tend to go off the deep end.

We kill, in the name of the name him.  We judge others because of them.  We treat man like shit because of him.  We judge ourselves by him.  Basically, in most cases we do most things god doesn’t want us to do and we do it in his name.  It is scary when you actually step back and look at it.  Nothing good comes from it that can’t come without it.

I have yet to find a Christian that isn’t fucking looney. I mean, if you’re a christian, you believe that god raped Marry, she liked it, and your savior Jesus is a bastard.  Really?  And yet when man, rapes it’s a bad thing.  Guess god doesn’t believe in leading by example.  And, why is that single moms are so frowned upon then?  Why is it we even have a word like bastard?   Because all religious people are hypocrites.  It’s really that simple.

When Jerry Falewel died a couple of years ago, I did a little cheer.  How morbid, I know.  But, really, this piece of shit has done so much harm to the world and he hid it all under the guise of Christianity.  Seriously, let’s look at a few of the things he’s said

Jerry Falewel

Jerry Falewel

over the years.  Let’s see how much he loved his fellow man.

“If you’re not a born-again Christian, you’re a failure as a human being.”  This is a good one.  Basically he’s shitting on most of the world.

“I hope I live to see the day when, as in the early days of our country, we won’t have any public schools. The churches will have taken them over again and Christians will be running them. What a happy day that will be!”  So much for science and logic.  It’s fairytales day and night!

“AIDS is not just God’s punishment for homosexuals; it is God’s punishment for the society that tolerates homosexuals.”  Yep, it’s those damn dirty homos that created aids.  All evidence leads to Africa but ok, let’s blame homo’s for this.  I love that as long as you’re a Christian you can just totally make shit up and the people that you lead will just go ahead and believe you.

This loon blamed the ACLU for 9/11 among others, gays and abortionists and so on.  And of course that other evil known as Pat Robertson agreed with him.  Looking forward to the day this moron dies and can no longer influence the stupid.  But, my point is that even those these two morons are extreme examples of the moronic leaders of the christian faith.  Their power is immense, they plot against society, America and the world.  They do not believe in freedom of religion, they hide behind it.  They don’t respect other religions and teach through fear, hate and stupidity.

Muslim extremists, you know the ones that attacked us on 9/11.  This is what happens when religion is left unchecked.  If you think christians would be any different you’re just as looney as they are. All you have to do is to look at the hate behind the statements leaders like Falewel and Robertson have made over the years.  Now imagine if they were given full rain.  There would be no schools, no churches.

It’s easy to fear the Muslim community right now.  Right now these loons are out of control.  Some of them have been allowed

Durka Durka

Durka Durka Mohammed Jihad!

to go off the deep end.  It’s the end result of all religion.  Any time, the church has been allowed to run out of control, terror was the ultimate outcome.  Anyone remember the Spanish Inquisition?  So, while we’re all hating Muslims right now.  If you’re practice a religion, take a good look in the mirror because the only difference between them and you is the amount religious freedom they have been given.

If you spent all day in church, living every word of the bible, studying every phrase, reciting it, all day, every day, you’re whole life, you too would lose it.  You would lose that little voice in your head that tells you what you’re doing is total bullshit.  You know the voice.  That voice you hear when you pray that says, “I know I am totally talking to myself, but I am gonna keep talking just in case.”  It’s that voice trying to tell you that you’re an idiot but you just don’t want to accept it.  Imagine if from birth you were taught no science, no critical thinking.  You couldn’t read any book you wanted, it was only the bible and “approved” text.  This is what Christian leaders want.

These people are too stupid to see that there is no difference between extreme Muslims and any other religion except that the muslim extremists have been given total freedom to do as they wish.  They have lost all perspective and if you practice any religion this is the end game of your faith.  Absolutely.

Now I haven’t come to these conclusions based on just on the ramblings of a few deranged men.  No, it has been an evolution that has taken decades.  It all started with those born again Christians when I was a teenager back in the 80’s.  Since the 8th grade I had a crush on this girl.  Her name was Kerry.  I won’t use her last name.  She was all I ever wanted.  Finally my junior in high school I was cool enough to date her.  Life was grand.  I was so in love with her. I worshiped her.

She started getting in to this born again bullshit.  I went to church with a few times.  I, at the time, considered myself to be religious.  I believed in God at the time.  At least I thought I did.  Who knows, at that age, we don’t really know anything about anything.  We do what we’re told and act how we’re taught by society.  Believing in god for most of us isn’t really a choice.  No one at that time was really saying god didn’t exist.

Anyways, I attended some of these churches with her.  They tried to heal me, they did the forehead thing, expecting me to fall over backwards.  They tried to get me to speak in tongues and all the while, that little voice in the back of my head was starting to form.  It was giving me signals I ignored telling me to run, these are crazy people.  I of course ignored the voice until my heart was broken.

You see after two months of a relationship I thought would last forever, Kerry broke up with me.  It seems that she decided to leave me for her 36 year old fat, Mexican, born again Christian neighbor.  They are still married to this day.  At first glance it’s

Say Anything

Say Anything

easy to ignore the fact that he was 36 and she was 16.  That it was a felony.  It’s easy when looking back and seeing that they have been together now for more than 20 years.  It must have been fated by the gods if they are still together.

Not really, you see about ten years Kerry found me on Classmates.com.  I was amazed when I got the email from her.  I was just recovering from the worse time of my life.  I was trying to be a better person.  I thought maybe fate or god was rewarding me.  But, no, she was still married to the same guy.  But, here she was writing me.  Why, I wondered?  As it turns out and without getting in to every detail.  She is totally unhappy with her life.  Has 4 kids with this fucking loser and she just wondered what I was doing.  She knew I had loved her unconditionally.  She knew that she had hurt me.  She even knows her whole life has been a mistake.  However, she is too stupid to do anything about it.

She stays with him because god must want it.  So she has been unhappy for decades in some attempt to make god happy I guess.  Yet, we met once.  Nothing happened though I wanted it to, but I didn’t push for it.  I decided if anything were to happen, it would happen because she wanted it, not because I manipulated the situation.

Over the next month or two we emailed each other constantly.  I could feel those old feelings again.  I wanted her so bad all over again.  We flirted online a lot.  We had a few steamy conversations.  And, then we made plans to meet again. We’d meet for coffee or maybe a movie.  I wrote her to make final plans and then never heard from again. Well, at least for another couple of years.  Then we started talking again, those feelings were coming back, the conversations were getting hotter and then she flaked out yet again.

The last time I heard from her was our 20th high school reunion.  It was a week away and I wasn’t planning on attending.  I had business in Florida. I drive from California to Florida at least once a year for business and pleasure.  The day I was leaving for Florida was the day of the reunion.  Besides, I had gained some weight since high school and I really didn’t want to show up all fat and bloated.  Working from home is great but sitting in front of the PC 12 or more hours a day can take its toll on your body. Anyways, I left for Florida and wrote her back asking her to write me back and let me know how the reunion went.  Told her I would write her from Florida.  I never did.

Last year she wrote me again and I didn’t respond to that either.  I wanted to.  But, I didn’t.  I just didn’t have it in me to be used again.   I know she needed someone to vent to about her life and needs that sense of being naughty or dangerous without ever doing anything so she can sleep at night.  I just didn’t want her to do at my expense any more.  So I have let that chapter of my life go, for now anyways.

But, here we have it.  A 36 year old born again, a 16 year old girl.  The church was ok with that.  She has been totally unhappy and feels she cannot get a divorce because god doesn’t want it.  The only happy person here is the fat Mexican who is always gonna get to tap a girl 20 years younger than he is.

I have dealt with Christians for a very long time.  And, though they seem normal at times, they are not.  They are all evil.  Sooner or later their true colors will be shown.  Even the most normal born again I know proved his lunacy to me a few years back.

I had designed his father’s company’s website.  It was a family owned business dealing with investments.  They were all born agains.  Dad, I didn’t know.  But, son and daughter I did.  I was dating a secretary there.  This is how I met them.  The son became my friend more or less.  We talked a lot, he had a band.  I did their website to.  The sister was married and fucking her dentist.  He was married to a woman that had cheated on him.  He fought to keep her.  I can respect that, but she had, as I understand it, done it more than once.

He was interesting to me because he accepted me for thinking his religion was crazy.  He accept the fact that the hot lead singer of their band, I was trying to bang.  Sure she was a Christian and married.  But, she was yet another Christian babe in a marriage she wasn’t happy with.  We kissed once. It never got to go any further than that.  I don’t even completely recall why other than I think it was because I had started dating yet another married woman and was falling in love.  I am sure I will rant about her another time.

So anyways, this guy, doesn’t judge anyone.  He believes what he believes and doesn’t push anything on anyone.  I totally respected him for that.  He lived his life to a moral code or his religion and stuck to it.  He offered help but never pushed it on anyone.  Allowing rather that people try to help themselves or come to realize that they can’t do it themselves.  I really liked him.  Of all the Christians I have ever met, he was the first that did not seem to be a hypocrite.  I had looked.  I had talked with him. I could not ever find a moment of hypocrisy his whole life.

Then one day out of the blue he asks me this, “If I get a massage and she gives me a happy ending. Is that cheating?”  I responded not for her but for you, yes.  He asked why.  I said because she’s not married you are.  It is not her job to respect your vows of marriage. It’s yours and your wives and no one else’s.  I had to ask him.

“Did you get a happy ending from the massage girl?” I asked and he responded with yes.  I fuckin knew it!  How do you not know that’s cheating?  He honestly spent the next half hour trying to justify to me that it wasn’t cheating because he didn’t do anything.  She did all the work.  OMG it was so fucking typical Christian, I wanted to vomit.

Now, look I don’t care who cheats and who doesn’t.  What I care about is the hypocrisy of it all.  If you claim to do one thing, to

Crazy People

Crazy People

live a good life and condemn me for the way I live my life either through, your own words or your religion and turn around and cheat on your wife and then deny your sinful ways and worst yet, try to justify them.  You’re evil.  Period.  I didn’t stop talking to the guy because of that.  I mean I am no angel.  It’s just that I really thought he might be the only guy in the world that was religious and was not a total loon.  I was wrong.  They don’t exist.

You can’t believe in an invisible supreme being and not be fucking loony.  You may hide it well, your belief in the invisible supreme being may be accept by most of the world but it’s fucking crazy and you know it.  Sooner or later the crazy comes out.  And this is where I will end part 1 of Religion, acceptable lunacy!

Now those fags wanna get married…

Written by admin on March 16th, 2009

Gay Marriage

Gay Marriage

Yep, I actually heard someone say that.  It’s 2009 and as usual the Christian right is fucking shit up again.  How are long are we going to let these delusional people run our lives.  I am sorry but there is no god.  Ok, let’s just get that right out there as well.  Well, there is the Flying Spaghetti Monster of course but that’s different, he’s real.  But as for this ridiculous ideal of a christian god, please.  These people are fucking nutty.

I will be the first to say that in my own personal opinion, I don’t think gays should get married.  There are just certain truths to this world.  Dresses are for women, we breath air, the sun always rises and yes, marriage is between man and a woman.  This is what I will believe and I will always believe.

Now stop right there.   Calm down right dawn there you evil, scary homos!  I fully support your right to get married!  I don’t agree with it.  I think  it’s totally silly and a complete waste of time on your part to want to get married; but you know what?  Your life is not mine.  It’s your life to live, if you want to get married.  Go right ahead.  Just because my small brain can’t grasp why you would want to lower your standards to that of the straight culture, I have no idea.  But, if your strong desire is to better fit in?  Then whatever.  Get married.  I will always support equal rights for the gay culture.

Anyone who does not is a fucking tool.  There should be a list of names of everyone who doesn’t their rights.  They should be

Redneck

Redneck

publically humiliated.

I think maybe the christian right is just afraid of gay people?  I say this because I am not. I have some gay friends.  I have been to a few gay bars.  Not once did I ever suck a dick or take it in the ass.  I was not raped or molested.  I was hit on.  But, ya know what, I never accepted those advances.  You know why?  Because I am not fucking gay and being gay is not fucking contagious!  I have no doubt, that these people who are so against the gay life style are against because they fear what they would do if given the choice.

I whole hearted believe that if you picked  up 100 different straight christian men in 100 different cities, and took them to each to a gay bar that most of them would be suckin dick in the bathroom or taking it up the ass by midnight.  I don’t just say this to be harsh.  Or to bash these fucking whacky christian bastards.  I say it because I have put a little thought in to this.

If you’re a straight man, how do you know you’re straight?  Really?  How do you know?  How do you know that you aren’t really on some level attracted to men?  Do you know how you would react if you were in a situation where you could totally have a gay moment and no one would ever know about it?  Have you ever put yourself in that situation?  Have you ever tested your belief.  Chances are you haven’t because if you’re a christian you’re probably shallow.  You probably don’t understand the depth to which I am speaking.  But, let’s say that you do understand.  Have you tried it?  Not butt sex, just going to a gay bar.

I went to a few in the Florida Keys with my boss.  A person who is not gay.  He’s girlfriends, brother is gay.  We went to the Keys for a few days and one night we were at this gay bar and it was a blast.  The nicest people, some were stereo typical flaming gay and some were just regular sounding guys.  There was this guy who worked the bar that gave back massages.  6 foot tall maybe, blonde full of muscles.  He gave back massages while you sat at the bar.  Or you could have a “lap dance” if you wanted.

I have always wondered how straight guys could get a massage from a dude.  Up until now I had only had women give me massages.  Mostly all with happy endings but that’s another rant.  But, while at this gay bar I had a lengthy back massage and I was totally surprised at two things.  One, I didn’t get an erection at all.  Now, you have to understand getting an erection doesn’t mean you’re turned on.  Not all the times any ways.  We get them all the time.  While driving, watching a movie.  It just gets hard sometimes for no apparent reason.  But, when you feel good, like when being touched, it’s biological.  Warm hands on the small of your back, hitting the right spots.  Thought for sure I would have a secret boner and I did not.

The second thing I thought was that I wouldn’t enjoy the massage because there is no hope of a happy ending.  What’s the point of a massage without that?  It’s like sacrilege!  But, as it turns out, it wasn’t like that at all.  It was one of the best massages I have ever had and I will tell you why!  There was no sexual frustration at all.  None!  For this first time I could just enjoy the back massage and how good it felt.  When a women does it.  It doesn’t matter if she’s ugly, fat or both.  Five minutes in to a massage and you just want to roll over and say, “Just fucking grab it already and finish me off!”

So what does this all mean?  It means I have walked thru that gay fire.  I have found out first hand that it really isn’t contagious.  That I didn’t suck a dick, get handjob or take it in the ass.  I left with my sexuality intact and confirmed.  I didn’t know that night I would look back it as a test.  But, in many ways it was.  I know I am not gay.  I have no I have no desires to be gay.  Do you?

It is this that I base my conclusion on.  If you are against gay marriage than you just might be gay.  I am not so bold as to say that you are.  What I am saying is that you, on some level, question your sexuality more than most.  And, if you would vote

Evil

Evil

against such a measure as gay marriage than chances are that you are not honest with yourself and have some serious sexuality issues that you need to deal with.

But, more than anything.  I believe that just because I believe in something, like that marriage is between man and a woman.  Doesn’t mean that it’s right.  It’s just an opinion.  I would never force what I believe as law.  I would never tell another how to live or live.  And, anyone who does is the true definition of evil.

Retards… That’s so Gay

Written by admin on March 15th, 2009

The word Retard is defined as:

1  : to slow up especially by preventing or hindering advance or accomplishment : impede
2  : to delay academic progress by failure to promote.

Gay used to be defined as:

1 a: happily excited : merry <in a gay mood> b: keenly alive and exuberant : having or inducing high spirits <a bird’s gay spring song>
2 a: bright  , lively <gay sunny meadows> b: brilliant in color
3: given to social pleasures  ; also : licentious

Of course the homosexual stole that word along with the rainbow and now we have a fourth definition:

4 a: homosexual <gay men> b: of, relating to, or used by homosexuals <the gay rights movement> <a gay bar>

Ok, sorry I had to get the definitions out of the way first.  This is what these words mean.  Neither of them are bad words.  There is no such thing as bad words.   It’s is the intent behind the word that makes it sound bad.
So why is it that white liberal people who feel too guilty about having some many chances in life have to fuck with the rest of us and keep telling us what we can say, and what we mean “really” mean when we say it.  The fucking audacity of these people is sickening.

Take for example these stupid fucking ads:

Ok, now first Gay never meant homosexual.  Homo’s stole the fucking word.  I guess they feel it’s an acceptable word to use in describing them.  Personally, I like to just describe them as human’s like the rest of us but ass long as they keep wanting to further separate themselves from the heard, that’s fine.  Whatever.  My point is that no one things gay means happy any more.  I think it’s fair to say that we associate the word with gay in most cases with male homosexuals.  I am totally ok with that.  In fact I think it’s fucking great!

Gay’s took a word and without anyones fucking permision changed the meaning.  It took some time and determination but they fucking did.  Outstanding!  But, now they want it all to themselfs.  It can longer mean happy though and that’s kinda sad. Sure, it hasn’t been used that way in decades but it was always kinda nice to have that options.  Specially if you like older movies.  I mean really older movies.  I am not talking about Breakfast Club or Sixteen Candles.  No, no.  I am talking theose old black and white movies from the 30 and 40’s.  From time to time they would use the word gay and there was somehing so harmless and fun about the word.

Not any more of course.  Sorry but the gays have taken that away from us.  Damn you gays!

However, over recent years, there has been a movent among the youth culture.  In inadvertant attempt to take the word back. To give it yet another meaning.  When the word is uesed as a phrase, as in:  That’s so gay.  Or just plane old, “gay”.  It happened with no planning, it was just a natural progression.  It happens in life, it’s called evolution people and we are all subject to it.

This new defination would probably mean something like this:

5 a: retarded <gay> b: of, relating to, or used by someone stupid and lame or with bad taste <That’s so gay> <ghey>

However, it seems that the liberal left won’t allow our youth the same freedoms it gave to our gay brothers and sisters when they decided to take the word gay as their own and totally change the meaning.  Now, it’s their word and they won’t give it back and apparently they won’t even fucking share it!

What kinda bullshit is that?  I voted against prop 8.  I did the right thing, I believe gay people should have the right to get married.  I totally support that.  I don’t agree with it.  But I support it.  Maybe that will be an upcoming rant because the whole issues really pisses me the fuck off.  But, I digress.  I support equal rights for gays, absolutely and any who doesn’t is so gay!

So why is it though that we can’t use the word to mean somehting else.  Fucking black can just make up words and shit and we have no probelm with that.  We even encourage it and by their little hip hop albums.  But, when a white kid from suburbia wants to change the meaning of a word, on no, that’s fucking gay bashing, that’s an insult, we can’t have that.  Fuck you, you little uptight liberal.  Tell ya what, why don’t you spend this kinda energy bashing the Christian right and leave little Johhny suberbia alone.

It’s just a phrase, it’s not bashing gay people.  It’s bashing lame and stupid people.  So leave it the fuck alone already!

But, no, they cannot.  They have to take away the word retard now.  It seems retards don’t like the word.  Well, guess the fuck what?!  I am overweight, I don’t like the word fat, but I am.  Sometimes the truth hurts and we need get over it and move on.  Just because you don’t like something about yourself, don’t blame other for not fucking liking it either you selfish prick!

Retard is the same thing as gay.  When you call someone a retard, we just mean their an idiot and should know better.  Now

Super

Super

maybe we do mean mentally retarded or challened when we we say it.  But, is that really such a bad thing?  Since when did become being mentally challenged a good thing?  When did it become ok?

People, it’s time to wake up here.  Being mentally retarded is not a good thing.  It’s a terrible thing we wouldn’t wish on our worse enemy.  Now, that doesn’t mean that those that suffer from this affliction are terrible.  On the contrary, the many I have met are simply amazing, warm, loving people.  But, what they have is fucking, horrible shame.

I have no issue with calling someone a retard who is obviously not a retard.  Why?  Because if I am doing so, it’s because it’s someone who should obviously fucking no better and doesn’t.  Can’t we comment on the malfunction like that without it meaning we’re slamming those who are mentally challenged.  Aren’t we at least capable of accepting the difference between the issue and the person?  Has has the liberal left fucked your head up so bad that you are just gonna go along with whatever the fuck they say?  That you’re just gonna allow them to think for you?  I guess, if that’s the cae, you are a retard.